viernes, febrero 03, 2006

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En una nave epasiá, camino der planeta Alde-Andebán, pa selebra una comunion, se ve que la er condustó de la nave había abusao de pirdoras letales, y andaba dando tumbo. totá que le para la Guardia Siví de Blanco, que iba con er jefe, Oscar el Os-cura, porque ademá prosesaba la religuin de la fuersa, y er nota ni iba ar ginnasio ni na, pero estaba petao to, e iba siempre er nota de negro, como los curas, y por eso er nombre ese. En fin, que er nota ademá se enteran que iba a se la comunion de la Estrelli, que estaba de Muerte, y por eso la llamaban la Estrelli de la Muerte, y que no labían invitao ar convite ni na, y entre una cosa y otra, er os-cura se pilló un mosqueo que se les sartaron hasta las abrasadera der casco. Tota que er nota los para pa aselhle un contró y metelhle to er paquete.

(En la nave espasiá, to se mueve, en plan terremoto. Aparesen los dos robore, uno empapelao de papé de plata dorao, que soplaba tela, y otro mu shiquinino, que usaban pa guardá er botellón)

3Peos: Corre mamona, que nos pillan los copitos!!
(se esconden en el almacen de las bebida de la la nave. Aparese Lorelai, la madrina de la Estrelli, escondia dandose el lote con un manteni de la nave)

Lorelai: Niño, Minibá, ve y dile a Loli-Juan que vaya a comprá er pan, y que mate ar de la capa negra y su aguelo, que está salio perdio. Buscalo en marrueco, que se fué a pilla costo hace 20 año y no ha vuerto pa na la mamona...

3Peos: Enga. Minibá, amono, conduce tu la nave que yo me he soplao dos copaso de aceite de Motor de nave añejo de 12 año mientra tú hablaba con la niña esa. Por sierto, ere una mamona, que ni la presenta ni na, con lo dura que tengo yo la entrepierna...
Minibá: ui ui ui yaaauiui i u a u i
3Peos: Hi, enga ya, tio, que eso e lo que dise siempre y ar finá na...

(llega el de la capa negra)

El os-cura: anda, ira la tía. Que pasa, que ta puesto de blanco pa que parescamo las greca no?, po ara te va a enterá. Porque no ma invitao? y ande está turmano?

(los dos robore conen una nave mu shica, y se majan en un desierto)

3Peos: Lokooo, Minibá, ande ta dejao las gafa d'aparcá, que mira que había sitio al lao de la puerta, y te ha venio a la sétima luna der quinto coño...
Minibá: pi piriripipi arcarajopipi piribi
3Peos: Ira, ahi viene el autobu, amo a pillalo

(Cogen una espesie de barco con una gente mu shica vestio de monje, to colocao porque tenian er brillito raro ese de ojo que tiene la gente que fuma tela)

Llegamo a un sitio der desierto, donde hay una granga de siertas plantas verde mu bonitas. Llega er barco de los Monjenanos de antes...


(Aparecen el Luca, un shavalito joven resien sacao er canné, con su Tio un nota normá de la vida, dueño de la granja de verde)

Luca: Tito, que viene er barco pirata de los playmobi.
Tio: A ve, a ve que me trais hoy.
Plaimobi Nº1: gururugururu (un Minibá vasio y un robó dorao que raja tela)
Luca: enga, po me quedo con los do, Er Minibá se lo regalo a mi tio por reye, y e doraito me lo quedo porque me gusta ese estilillo, que parese que la echo mi viejo cuando era shico.

(Limpiando los robore)

Luca: ira, er miniva habra mandao un sms ar siete dos cuatro siete, y ahora ma paso por el infrarojo er video... Ostia, vaya pivita, como esta la tia... y yo aqui mas solo que la una, a comerme los moco... que asco de vida, yo me via escapá...

(luego, comiendo)

Luca: Tio, me va a dejá i a la feria de de los robore?
Tio: Me cagonto, tanta feria tanto cashondeo, ya sa escapao er Minibá, anda ve a buscalhlo...

Luca: (montao en er coche) Ay que ve la mamona er Minibá, a ve onde sa metio, con lo que le gusta a la gente aqui er pan de pico, que ve una botella de argo, y y y y se la beben como los pese en er rio... Iralo!! ira el Minibá... Ya loncontrao!! Ande vaaaaaaa!!!! Amono par kely que mi tio está esperando que le eshe dos yelo ar cubata asú de los cohone...

(aparece un to-morado-r de las arena)
to-morado-r: agjaaaaammmm!!!, agjalabijád, pur alá!! (le va a meté con un palo)
(A esto que aparece un viejo que se llama Benito)
Benito: Mamón, fumeta de mierda, deja al rubio, o no te vendo mas na, anda vete a buscá trabajo pa dalhle de comé a tus niño que acabo de pasá por tu casa y ma dao pena hasta con la mascara puesta, so hijoputa...

(el to-morado-r de las arenas se larga)
Benito: Niño, estás bien, un porrito o que...
Luca: Eihn?, tú quien ere, Tu ere er benito!!! er Minibá me mando ayé un mesaje ar movi, y me dijo que iba a buscarte!!
Benito: un Minibá? pero si yo solo le pego a la cashimba? bueno, e iguá. Tu ere el Luca no? Yo soy Benito Cannabis.
Luca: ¿Como sabe tu quien soy, loko?
Benito: porque le vendo las semilla de costo a tu tio, o que te cree que está plantando aquí en marrueco...
Luca: Ostia, asi es tan enrollao por la noshe cuando viene de recogé er tio...

Benito: Bueno, a ve, Minibá, pasame er mensaje ar mobi por el infrarojo, que tengo el blutu estropeao desde que se lo dejé aun sordao clon.

Minibá se lo pasa, y ve er mensahe en er mobi...
Lorelai: Loli-Juan Cannabis, traete dos millones de bollos y tres millones de viena, que a venio gente a comé de imprevisto pa er bautiso de la Estrelli, y los domingo en er planeta Alde-Andeban no hay na abierto, están to en er campo. Enga, y de paso te trae argo de postre...
Benito: La via llamá, no sea que quiera pico o argo, o unas patatita, que esta tarde hay derbi.

Llama, y suena: Alianza informasion, le dise que Er movi está corgao o metio en una cueva, intentalo de nuevo mas serca, o muevete un poquito, no sea que sea tu er de la cueva... Ademá no ha metio sardo en er movi desde que esisten las teclas, mamona...

Benito: vaya mierda, no tengo sardo en er movi. y a ve ande encuentro yo un cajero.
Luca: Pero quien e Loli-Juan ese... que es turmano?
Benito: que va, soy yo, en verdá me llamo Loli-juan, pero me cambié er nombre porque aqui Loli es nombre de tia y no se puede se un camello serio llamandose Loli.
Luca: ostia, po es verdad, loko.

Ahora Benito es Loli-juan...

Loli-Juan: Na, po voy a comprá er pan y voy pallá... Tu te viene o que.
Luca: fijo!
Loli-Juan: vamono ar ba, a ve a un amigo que hase contrabando de pan blanco.

Llegan al pueblo y los para la Guarda Siví de Blanco.

Guardia Siví de Blanco (GSB)1: Ande va. tiene la tarjeta pa aparca..
Loli-Juan: Que va loco (mueve la mano, enseñando un pedrolón) pero puedo aparcá onde los minusválido si me da la gana, a que si...

(el gsb coje el pedrolo)

GSB1: ostia tio, aro, es que no había visto que er Minibá no tiene pienna tio, enga, sircule, sircule...
Se van los cuatro con er coche

GSB2: (a GSB1) Quillo, loko, que ta pasao, con lo cabrón que tu ere y er bigote de hijoputa que tiene... aro, que con er cascO este de los cojones nose te ve la cara de cabrón, Y no impone igua...

gsb1: no te preocupes tu, que mira lo que tengo, pero no te via dejá ni olerlo...
gsb2: lo ve tio, si es que ere un hijoputa...

Llegan ar bá. le preguntan al camarero
Loli-Juan: Oye, pisha, sabe si ha llegao por aqui hoy er Juan Solo.
Camarero: a ve, lo primero, en mi va no se pueden meté botella dafuera, asi que er Minibá te lo deja en la puerta.
Loli-Juan: Minibá, tu y turmano, esperarse fuera anda, shiquitin...
Camarero: Er Juan dise... Si está sentao con una rubia ahí detrá...
Loli-Juan: Grasia, guapetón.

Loli-Juan saca su espada lase y le corta el braso a un nota.

El nota der braso cortao: Quillo que ase, ande va con la emosione...
Loli-Juan: Ostia tio, perdona, que iba a ensedé er canuto y me equivocao, y he sacao la espada sin darme cuenta tio. Quillo perdona tio.
El nota der braso cortao: ea quillo, no pasa na, dame una calaita y tamo en pa. ademá con la tajá que llevo ni me duele ni na... JAJAJAJA!!!

Loli-Juan, se acerca con Luca a la mesa de Juan Solo...

Loli-Juan: quillo, tu ere er Juan?
Paco: quien lo pregunta?
Loli-Juan: Tu puta madre que está ahi fuerá y dise que no quiere entrá por que la conosen, CARAJOTE, quien lo va a preguntá, po yo, cojone!!!
Paco:y tu quien ere?
Loli-Juan: Yo soy er camello mas viejo de todas las dunas de este sitio...
Paco: Ostia, tu ere er Benito no? ostia tio, ira quien eh
La rubia: uuugggaaaahhhhhh (un ruido mu raro, como de un bestia)
Paco: si, yo soy Juan solo.
Loli-Juan: Y por que carajo te pone Paco en er guión?
Juan Solo: Ea, ya está, es que si no te da cuenta ante, y no tiene grasia.
Loli-Juan: y la rubia esta.. quien es? tan guapa que es ella? y tan de buen vé? y que arta, y que culo...
Juan Solo: Tu está salio perdio... cuanto lleva sin metelhla en caliente? aro, viviendo solo entre tanta arena, te la abrá pelao ma que los cli der barco pirata de plaimobi, que son tos maricone y se dan por er culo entre elloh mihmo...
Loli-Juan: Como? yo? Tanto se me nota?
Juan Solo: Mamona, si ta to emparmao...
Loli-Juan: Ostia... que no, que es er sable, que se me descoloca...
Juan Solo: er sable, er sable... anda, que es un tio, no una rubia. Se llama Jesus, Jesus Vaca, pero tos le llamamos Chuh-vaca, o Chuh-bi, por que tambien resurta que er nota es bagoneta habe?, vamo, que le pega a la carne y ar pescao...
Chuh-vaca: uuugggaaaahhhhhh (un ruido mu raro, como de un bestia, otra ve)
Loli-Juan: ira, que me está, tirando los tejo? mira que... (tocándose el entresejo) ... que está la cosa... mu mala...
Juan Solo: Bueno y que queria?
Loli-Juan: Que na, que na que vengo buscando un guitarrista
Juan Solo: A ve cuanto quiere...
Loli-Juan: Que no, que no es pa mi, que pa uno, que tambien se está quitando...
Juan Solo: Que?
Loli-Juan: Na, quillo, que ma dicho uno que tu vende plan blanco der güeno...
Juan Solo: Si, to er que quiera.
Loli-Juan: Po no se... tu me puede dejá la nave pa llevalhlo?
Juan Solo: Que dise home, yo como te via dejá la nave, que lacabo de pasa la itn (inpensió tennica de nave) y ma pasao po los pelos colega...
Loli-Juan: Bueno, ar meno me puede dejá alli no?
Juan Solo: Alli onde es.
Loli-Juan: Tu ta leio er guión, cacho cabrón?
Juan Solo: Desde que sale Paco...
Loli-Juan: vaya er nota. Quillo, po hasta Alde-Andeban.
Juan Solo: Uf, es que man dicho que va ve una tormementa, y que va a ve musho rayo...
Loli-Juan: Enga ya, si alli hay menos nube que en Sevilla en los 90, que no llovia ni pagando...
Chuh.vaca: uuugggaaaahhhhhh (un ruido mu raro, como de un bestia, otra ve)
Loli-Juan: Quillo, la rubia no sabe desí otra cosa?
Juan Solo: A mi ma dicho un amigo que cuando folla canta por Jesucristo Superestar?, pero un amigo, no te vaya a cree que sio yo ni na, amo ve...
Loli-Juan: Ese quien es?
Juan Solo: Yo que se, uno de una galaxia muy muy lehana, de hase musho musho tiempo, po lo visto.
Loli-Juan: Bueno, me lleva o no, que te va po los serro de úbeda.
Juan Solo: Buen aseite er dallí, no he contrabandeao yo na dallí habe....
Loli-Juan: Quillo, enga ya...
Luca: Mira, yo no es pon na, pero Loli-Juan, desde el uno de enero no dehan fumá en los bare, asi que va a tene que apagá er canuto...
Loli-Juan: Tu que quiere, que te corte tambie er braso de las paja o que...
Luca; NO NO NO NO! Tio, tranquilo, tranquilo, que es que no aparesco en er quión desde haste una jartá de linea, y pa que la gente supiera que sigo en la essena, cojones, y no sabía que desí.
Loli-Juan: vaya er nniño tambien.... Bueno, Juan, sería pa salí ya de ya.
Juan Solo: Po no se... dame tres talego de costo...
Loli-Juan: Andebá 3, dos y y ....
Juan Solo: no no. 3, y veremo a ve si no te pido 4...
Loli-Juan: ... enga, 3, pero der que tiene mas tiempo, que está mas seco.
Juan Solo: A mi me da igua, en el espasio sabe to iguá. Anda cogerse las cosa quenos vamos, y ostia, me he dejao la cartera en la nave, y la rubia no tiene borsillo porque va vestía con un sinturon de shapa namá. Loli, no te importa pagá a ti ahora, y ya te lo devorveré?
Loli-Juan: No te preocupe, ahora le corto er braso y ar carajo. Total, me da que no voy a podé vorvé...

Fin de la 1º parte...

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The relative complexities of men's and women's fashion

Both men and women can have the difficulties of maintaining their wardrobe up-to-date and in season, yet men's style frequently seems a lot less complicated. Of course, for both genders, outfits and style choices could be equally as intricate, and there are several'modern'things that could rapidly become fashion faux pas - who are able to say they often times see people travelling in 70s flares? On the other hand, men's style has a few choice goods that can exist forever - which man is planning to keep an eye out of place with a good-quality, tailored suit, for example? Choose basic pieces, colours and materials and you'll never seem out-of-place.

Why common men's fashion is amazing

The common man's suit has barely changed for over a hundred years. True, there are several kinds for different functions, nevertheless they are all popular in their quest for a clever, sharp try to find the wearer. The neat thing about traditional fashion for men is that it is effortlessly trendy simply cool. A well-groomed man can typically appear his sharpest in a well-tailored suit, and it is a testament to the style of such apparel. A match will be worn to work in many professions due to the professional search it offers to the person, instilling a feeling of respect and trust. Equally a suit will undoubtedly be utilized to many social events, like a tuxedo to a black-tie affair. This extraordinary versatility that enables suits to be used in virtually all situations is what gives it its classic edge and a lasting devote men's fashion.

Modern trends in classic men's style

Although classic men's styles can never be changed, it's interesting to note that shifts in men's fashion trends have brought certain common garments back into fashion. The popularity of vintage clothing, especially, has had back a wide-variety of basic designs into men's closets, such as that of the dandy guy. 'Dandy'is a term used to make reference to men who dress in a classic yet expensive way, placing importance on appearance and working in a refined manner. This trend for almost'over-the-top'common fashion for men is evident from events including the'Tweed Run', where men and girls of all ages clothe themselves in significantly Victorian-style clothing and take to the streets on vintage cycles - with many of the men wearing remarkable mustaches! This is only one of several examples of data presenting the resurgence of such variations. There are also numerous sites on the web which concentrate on gentlemanly style - such as'The Dandy Project'and'Dandyism'- as well as entire sites such as'The Art of Manliness'focused on giving articles on common men's fashion and grooming.

In conclusion, though certain facets of traditional men's style may be brought back as new movements, the basic clothes which they are derived from will never fall out of fashion.

"All it takes really are a few simple costumes. And there's one secret - the simpler the better." - Cary Grant

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